I think i sorta joined a cult last night
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Randomize
