Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
im calling her cock vulture from now on
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
