the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
