sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
