There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
