who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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