Moan for me like Helen Keller
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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