I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
