quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Someone came in the potted fern
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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