So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
