Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
