Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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