I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
