70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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