This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
