My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
