I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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