Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
