Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
