yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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