allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
