I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
