Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
