talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
