Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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