i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
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