Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
