Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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