My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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