I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
