I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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