$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
He kissed a someone with a penis
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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