is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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