he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
he quoted the bible to break up with me
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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