Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
