It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
