Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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