About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
