he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
