If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
