Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
