just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
