Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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