im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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