we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
