Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I will be naked everywhere
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
