His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
