I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
