need another drink. this is the easiest way
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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