Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
